


disha nou ste odon

by mid_sweettalk



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, aka fuck jrat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 08:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6188182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mid_sweettalk/pseuds/mid_sweettalk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She kisses Lexa because it feels as if she will never see her again, but also in the hopes that this is not the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	disha nou ste odon

**Author's Note:**

> I know we're all upset. I had to write out something that expresses my true feelings on what JRotten wrote. Enjoy.

She kisses Lexa because it feels as if she will never see her again. She kisses her in the hopes that they _will_ see each other again, in the hopes that this is not the end, but a new beginning.

When Lexa looks up at her from the bed with so much emotion that it is spilling from her eyes, Clarke wishes she could forget about the outside world. There are moments, yes, when she only feels love in her chest—when she isn’t reminded of how she felt with Finn, back when she thought _they_ had forever, too.

But they are only moments, and so the rest of the time she is skin-to-skin with Lexa, Clarke is overwhelmed with the feeling that this cannot last; she is reminded of Octavia waiting for her, of Semet charging _heda_ with his knife earlier that day. These reminders do not distract her, though—they make her focus harder on committing every second of this to memory.

She had doubted that she would ever get to see Lexa like this—hair tousled and skin glowing, eyes wide and smile relaxed. She had doubted that she would have ever been able to let Lexa back in, that she would ever be able to turn “maybe someday” into “yes.” Now that it is happening, she finds it extremely difficult to leave.

Once she is dressed, she finds Lexa looking up at her with pure adoration. “You can’t look at me like that,” she says, although there is no strictness in her tone.

“Why not?” Lexa asks as she continues to stare.

“You look like… you want me to stay.”

“That is because I do—”

“ _No_ ,” she says, and this time, it is with force. “You can’t say that.” She takes a shaky breath and looks away from Lexa’s now-hurt expression. “If you say it, I won’t be able to leave.”

There is a moment of pause filled only with the sounds of their breathing. “I understand,” is what Lexa finally says, and Clarke knows she is referring to more than just her previous statement.

She understands why Clarke must leave, and for Clarke, that means everything right now.

“May we meet again,” Lexa whispers, and Clarke responds with a kiss.

* * *

She only intends to go back to her room to pick up things she needs for the journey back to Arkadia, not in order to find John Murphy bound and gagged next to her bed.

She can’t really say she’s surprised by Titus’s betrayal—though, is it really betrayal if he was never on her side?

And when she sees the black blood pouring from Lexa’s chest, she freezes.

Then all of her years with her mother come rushing back and kick her into motion. She yells for Titus to help Lexa onto the bed and immediately starts putting pressure on the wound with one of the blankets from the bed. “I’m gonna help you. I’m gonna fix you. You’ll be alright.” She meets those eyes that had looked at her earlier with adoration and love; they are now tinged with pain, but the love still shines through, and she can’t really handle it right now.

“Do not be afraid, Clarke.” Clarke has to wonder how she can be so calm. “ _Ai gonplei ste odon_.” She gives a weak smile, and Clarke shakes her head.

“No. No, I can’t accept that. I won’t.” She ignores Lexa’s placating smile and removes the blanket from her stomach. _So much blood—black, black blood._ “I think I can see the bullet,” she breathes, not daring to meet those eyes again. She has to focus. “I should be able to get it out. You’ll be okay.” _You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. Yu gonplei no ste odon._

She calls for Titus to grab the thinnest metal object he can find, but he already is unwrapping a set of what looks like surgical tools next to her. “I—okay, good, those will work.”

But Titus shakes his head. “These are not to remove the bullet, _wanheda_. These are for when the spirit leaves her body.”

Her brows furrow in confusion. “What? No, look, her spirit is staying right where it is. Okay?”

Titus sighs sadly, but merely nods.

“Good.” Clarke takes a deep breath, then takes the strangely-shaped tweezers from Titus’s pack. “Murphy,” the beaten boy looks worried at being called to attention, “get a fire going in the fireplace. I need you to sterilize this.” He nods hurriedly before taking the instrument and running to the other side of the room.

Clarke turns back to Lexa, finally meeting her eyes again. “Just stay with me. You’ll be okay.” She moves the blanket to resume putting pressure on the wound until Murphy has finished with the tweezers. Lexa moves her own hand over Clarke’s, making her look up again.

“Clarke,” she breathes with another smile, “ _ai hod yu in_.” She repeats this two more times, getting quieter each time, and her eyes start to droop.

“No, Lexa, stay with me,” Clarke says hurriedly. “Murphy, _hurry up_.” She checks the wound again and sees that the blood flow has slowed. “I’ll fix you,” she whispers. “You’ll be okay.”

* * *

When Lexa’s eyes open, she first realizes that she is not in her room. Then she realizes that she is in Clarke’s room. She looks down to see a mass of golden curls, and that is when the pain hits her. A low groan escapes before she can stop herself, and Clarke’s hand twitches around her own before her head shoots up from the bed.

If not for the pain, Lexa is sure she would be smiling at the sight of Clarke’s messy hair and sleep-blurred eyes. Instead, she can only breathe out, “Clarke… how?” She does not mean for the question to escape.

Slowly—oh-so-slowly—a smile grows on Clarke’s face. Her sleepy eyes start shining with tears, and Lexa watches as life returns to those bright blue eyes she adores so much.

“You—I got the bullet out and managed to stitch up your wound. We need to keep an eye out for internal bleeding, so I think we should get you to—“

“I cannot leave Polis, Clarke. Not now.” This comes out softer than she expected, but she does not care.

Surprise only shows on Clarke’s face for a moment. “Okay, well then I’m getting my mother to come here. I can’t—” she pauses, swallows, and removes her gaze from Lexa’s. “ _We_ can’t afford to lose you now, not with the Ice Nation, with Pike, with…” Clarke bites her trembling lip, so Lexa squeezes her hand.

“Where is Titus?” she asks, almost afraid of the answer.

Fire sparks in Clarke’s eyes at the mention of her advisor. “He’s being held until you decide what to do with him.”

Lexa nods, feeling the solemn pangs in her chest. “He has betrayed me—not by harming me with _skaikru_ weapons, but by attempting to harm you.” She winces as she tries to take a deep breath, stretching the skin of her wound. “He has disobeyed my wishes and displayed his mistrust in me. He will be punished accordingly.”

Clarke does not argue, but merely nods. Lexa knows that, had she not been shot by his hand, the _skaikru_ girl with the bleeding heart would be vying for mercy. But Clarke also knows that Lexa is still fighting for _jus drein no jus daun_ to become the way of her people and, therefore, will not kill Titus. They are both glad for the calm this brings.

“Clarke,” she says, softly, so that those blue eyes will look up at her again. When they do, Lexa reaches a hand up to cup Clarke’s cheek—she hates that it is a struggle to do this, but does it nonetheless—and strokes her thumb over the tears that have fallen. “ _Ai laik yun. Ai hod yu in_.”

Clarke’s lips form a watery smile, and she brings her hand up to press against Lexa’s, leaning into her touch. “ _Ai laik yun seintaim_ ,” she says, and Lexa’s heart swells at the sound of her native language on Clarke’s tongue, “but I have no clue what that… other part means.” She chuckles with her words, making Lexa smile brighter.

“It means,” she starts, searching Clarke’s eyes for a reaction, “I love you, _Klark kom skaikru_.”

More tears spill from Clarke’s eyes as she reaches forward to push Lexa’s hair from her forehead. “ _Ai hod yu in seintaim, Leksa_.”

When they kiss again, Clarke is sure that this is a new beginning, not the end.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think! Surprisingly (since I've watched this show from the beginning), this is the first 100 fic I've written. Hope I did the characters justice.


End file.
